How to deal with death of a loved one

One day when you wake up, your shattered heart still doesn’t heal, and you are downhearted with yourself for not putting the broken pieces together. That’s okay!

Coping with the death of your loved ones is one of the painful feelings. The emptiness, loneliness and a roller coaster of emotions will engulf you.

Grief recovery might take months or years. So, instead of hoping for all the pain to fade away, it is crucial to understand the healthy ways to grief and get a hold of your life.

While everyone heals differently, The Happy Hormones hopes that this list will at least splash out of some of the discomfort.

1. Let your emotions flow, don’t bury them

Whether if you feel like crying or talking to someone, don’t stop yourself from doing so. Holding back the feelings during grief doesn’t help as they cripple the recovery process.

Accept the pain because it is not something to suppress. Avoiding the pain might seem like the best approach, however, you need to feel the pain until it hurts no more.

2. Cherish, share & preserve memories

Reminiscing the days spent with your loved ones do hurt but cherishing the beautiful memories is what you need as a part of the healthy grief process. Here are the things that you could do

• Planting their favourite trees or flowers in your garden and taking care of them 
• Wearing something that belongs to them like a necklace, shirt or cap to feel their presence
• Creating a memory box consisting of their photos and stuff
• Being grateful for all those years that you have enjoyed life together

3. Prioritise your physical health

Grief can decrease your appetite and worsen the diet. Healthy eating habits maintain general well-being (physical & emotional). Snacking too much sugary and junk food while not meeting the daily nutrient intake should be avoided. Instead, eat food rich in vitamins and minerals. Don’t forget to drink lots of water too!

Besides, incorporating exercise into your routine is a must. Go slow by jogging, stretching or doing basic yoga. Exercising boosts mood, concentration and alertness.

4. Rest well

Set a sleeping schedule and make sure you sleep for 7-9 hours per night. When you go through exhaustion, extra rest is needed.

5. Be kind to yourself

Healing differs from person to person. Some around you may move on with a matter of weeks, but if you are not, remind yourself that healing takes time, and you don’t have to leave those emotions behind instantly.

So, do not judge and pressure yourself for not ‘feeling good’ as you will continue to heal.

6. Communicate with family and friends

The presence of family and friends can comfort you. It is wise to choose the right company, as in people who wouldn’t put expectations on you and are willing to lend an ear and shoulder for you.

Warm hugs and a conversation while you sip on a cup of coffee talking about how you feel, how your loved one has impacted your life or telling stories about them will revive you as the grief flows out of you.

7. Stick to your normal routine

Getting back to your usual routine after having a little break is indispensable, especially for children. It is to distract your mind as you indulge in the tasks you used to do.

8. Do what you love

Doing what we love is a part of self-care, which sprinkles an abundance of peace and bliss. If you fancy photography, find an enticing spot and start snapping or if you are obsessed with cooking, try out new mouth-watering recipes.

When adversity strikes, you must bounce back to find joy and add colours to your life because life is too short not to fill it with the things we adore.

9. Don’t let anyone tell you ‘how to feel’

One day you are strong, and the other day you surrender to the myriad of emotions that happens out of your control. You cry at unexpected moments. It is why grief is said to be unpredictable. Although bound by blood, you might never have the same grief recovery process as your family.

Therefore, people’s opinion on how you act and feel after a loss doesn’t matter. If they insist you get over it, don’t value them as they might not be in the same shoes. Every individual is unique where be patient and trust the process!

10. Join a support group

It may be hard for you to stay optimistic as you are uncertain of the things ahead of you. Once you realise that many still don’t understand you, that’s when you seek out help by joining a grief support group.

Plus, interacting with people who have struggled with a similar loss makes you feel less lonely and not too isolated. Not only do they let you grow at your pace, but sharing your thoughts and feelings would also alleviate your wounded soul.