How to deal with toxic people

Did that person cross across your mind in a flash after reading the heading? Our lives are almost incomplete, at least without one toxic individual. It could be your friend, spouse, lover or sibling. 

They are often difficult to get along where we need to be aware of them. Toxic people are like snakes who spread their venom within a bite into us – full of poisonous energy. Even a simple conversation with them would drain us mentally and emotionally.

While not everyone goes through this as they are sharp in recognising them, for those who are the lost, Hera Health flings 12 preeminent tips on how to deal with these bunch of people who didn’t exist. 

1. Watch the signs

If you have witnessed these signs among the people in your circle, they could be highly toxic!

• They play the victim game
• They crave your attention
• They are jealous
• They don’t respect you and your boundaries
• They are the biggest manipulatives
• They refuse to change
• They do not give compliments wholeheartedly – they’ll be a sprinkle of the ‘gloomy’ element

2. Speak up!

Be firm and assertive when you make your points. Speaking up to that person indicates that you don’t like their behaviour. Generally, all toxic people do is to stonewall or refuse to listen when you pinpoint something. If you dare to confront them by hitting them right on their face, they will be taken aback that you are voicing out.

Moreover, when they are at fault, let them know where they went wrong without hesitating. These types of people won’t grasp the problem or will continue playing the victim game.

3. Set boundaries

Toxic people take advantage of kind-hearted people most of the time. Therefore, setting clear boundaries of what you will give in and what not is crucial. Not only you should stick to them, but you must also learn that saying ‘NO’ is absolutely okay! Stop feeling bad about it!

4. Listen to your gut

There will always be an inner voice that stands by us in making decisions. Why not give your gut instincts a chance because they know more about the scenario?

We got to admit that deep in our hearts, we do know that people are mistreating us. However, we try to rationalise their toxic behaviour saying something like, “Oh, he didn’t mean to say that perhaps he was stress at the moment”.

So, stop making excuses, wake up, listen to your gut and trust your judgement!

5. Don’t trust them

Never share your deepest secrets with these people though they lock on that they have changed. Since they love being in the centre of attraction, they would backstab or gossip about others behind their backs to you. Do not fall for it because they would eventually twist the scenario and let others know what you said to gain their trust or make new friends.

6. You do you

Putting up with a toxic person doesn’t mean that you must give in to your beliefs and what you stand for. Stay true to yourself and don’t bother pleasing them as they will make you feel guilty for how you feel. Sometimes it’s hard to go against them, but if you don’t do it at the right moment, you are only giving space for them to maintain their behaviour.

7. Keep yourself occupied

This is one of the best ways to ignore a toxic person if you are caught under the same roof. Pick a hobby that would enhance your creativity or loosen up you like painting, baking, gardening or watching movies.

Therefore, whenever you are free, engage yourself in these activities where you will have a valid reason to stay away from those people. It’s a win-to-win situation as you spend less time with toxic people and can spend your time meaningfully.

8. Don’t get drawn into their drama

Honestly, we don’t have time to be in all these dramas. Besides toying with your emotions, toxic people seek sympathy. They bring up new woes while expecting others to sympathise with them. When that happens, tell them, “It has got nothing to do with me!” and disappear.

9. Let them uncover themselves

Some people change for the better; some refuse. If you have called toxic people out for their misdoings and they show no sign of realisation, don’t waste your energy, we say.

It is a fact that lies are petty hard to keep up, especially a series of events. Fret not, as they will trip over their lies, made up stories and get caught red-handed when others observe them.

10. Spend more time with good true friends

Bright people appreciate beautiful friendships and know that it is one of the best gifts. They build a trustworthy rapport with their friends and doing something that would snap the affection is their friendship’s no-o’s. Furthermore, they make efforts to sustain the togetherness and flourish by lifting everyone.

Whether it is a coffee date or an unwinding day out, they look forward to meeting because each other’s presence makes them happy.

11. Walk away

When nothing favours you, WALK AWAY!

You might be disheartened to break your relationship with a friend, family member or colleague. It is absurd to remain in the trap without trying to escape because you deserve better and the right ones will make their way to you one day. For the sake of your mental health and self-respect, you have no choice but to walk away! Period.

12. Seek help

Follow up with a therapist or a psychologist if you are exhausted and can no longer bear them. These professionals will offer compassion and the utmost solution while not judging you. Take care of your well-being!